Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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