God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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