yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize