there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
