Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
