I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
