We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Found the puke drawer
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
