Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm getting married
To pizza
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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