I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
