I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I am available for nakedness
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
