If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize