I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
whose parrot is this?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
