so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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