if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
