i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
you had me at cake vodka
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
