Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
