I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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