her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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