I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
