It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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