You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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