Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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