Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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