It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
