I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just puked most of my soul out..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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