the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
