Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
