Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
