I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
