We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize