Swine flu. Run for my life!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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