she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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