dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
