U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He told me they were just razor bumps!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize