Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
