I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
