yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize