sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
