Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
