i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
