then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
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i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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