shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he puts the penis in happiness.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
