420 ftw
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
