I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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