Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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