At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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