On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
