Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
