Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
