it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
