thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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