I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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