Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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