I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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