I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
