NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
