i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
