i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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