I just saw a hot homeless man
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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