see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
