At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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